indarkness.com

– by David Lynch.

Just finished reading it and I’m ready to meditate.

The past few days have been marked by just enough snow to make things amazingly beautiful.  Everything frosted in white.  And then it mostly melts before the snow falls again.  In fact, often you can hear things melting even as more snow is falling.  Which is happening right now.  For a few minutes it will look like the snow is ready to fall in earnest, but then it will suddenly slack off to a few tiny drifting flakes.  It makes judging whether to stay in or go out a bit difficult.  Especially since I live in a slightly colder spot than where my convenient internet connections reside.  Mostly I am enjoying the very beautiful winter weather.  Even if most of my clothing smell like wood smoke.  Definitely a small price to pay.

It seems some how fitting, we are out of the darkening times, the sun is growing stronger every day, and yet the worst of the winter weather likely lies ahead of us.  Or perhaps the violent storm of a week and a half ago was the worst.  Still, despite the lovely blue skies of the past few days, each one longer than the one before, winter is not nearly over.  Two months of official winter lies before us.  And it may linger longer.  Snow can crop up as late as June.  And the patterns are changing.

The parallels in my life are intriguing to me.  I am out of the darkening times and yet there are storms ahead.  The light is growing.  Transformation is definitely in motion.  But the worst pains of these changes may still lie before me.  Perhaps I have already weathered the hardest confessions - to myself.  The coming storms may turn out to be mostly beautifying - showing me the splendor of this world in different guises.  In fact, if I approach it them right, I know they will.

It is easy to become attached to a particular season, a specific set of circumstances.  Familiar, comfortable.  A set of knowns that don’t demand our diligence.  But the seasons keep changing, each one bringing it’s gift, it’s part of the continual dance.  The dance that sometimes brings us closer and sometimes draws us apart.  Growth unchecked becomes cancer and kills.  But the other extreme is no life at all and that doesn’t help either.  There are seasons for growing and seasons for cutting back, making room.

I find myself in need of these lessons right now.  To find in the pattern of the seasons my own life and the lessons I have been resisting.  The seasons don’t hold the menace of the Borg, but resistance is futile.   In fact, resistance has been the primary cause of all of my strife, sadness and anger.  The seasons are.  These patterns of life - growth, death, and rebirth, renewal are.  Resisting them, resisting my present rather than accepting it, rather than being it, has been the source of great anguish in my life.  Not so long ago I was crying very hard - from the depths of my pain.  But that pain is something that I created.

I expect that I will create more pain for myself in the near future.  But my plan is for the lessons I have been embracing about acceptance, about being, about witnessing and the futility of resistance to guide me through.  Allow me to get out of my own way and let the miracle that is life flow through me.

I admit this is a “trick”. But it’s an effective one (plus it’s good for you). Okay, if you haven’t heard this one before I’d like to introduce you to a very simple way to give yourself the appearance of being six pounds lighter than you are…. Stand up straight! Yup, that’s pretty much it. It is, in fact, that simple. Now, simple is not to be confused with easy. You see, if you’re like most people you are very accustom to slouching (I’m horrible when sitting, but I’m working on it). And adjusting yourself and your body to holding yourself up all time time will take a fair amount of attention and some effort. But it’s worth it.

So take a moment and stand up straight.  Really feel your body.  Move it around.  Wiggle in odd ways that you would never consider doing in public (I’m assuming you’re doing this exercise in private, but maybe you’re just wild and don’t mind getting a couple of odd looks).  Once you’ve shook out your body a bit it’s time to really stand up straight.  Pretend that some one has grabbed a couple of hairs from the top of your head and is pulling you up by them.  Let your spine elongate.  At this point in time it would be good to do a couple circles with your shoulders.  Go both ways and then relax them.  They will naturally rest on the lower end of their full up and down mobility.    And make sure you’re not slumping them forward.  Your chest should feel open, but don’t stick it out.  Finally hold your stomach in.  Don’t suck it in like you’re trying to button up pants that are really too tight for you, just engage your stomach (also known as your core) muscles.   And just like that you appear six pounds lighter.  And like you care about yourself enough to be present in the world.

It’s simple, but maintaining it isn’t exactly easy.   Most of us are very comfortable with the way we carry ourselves most of the time.  I am constantly reminding myself to sit up straight.  But if you get in the habit of noticing when your posture has taken a less flattering slump, you’ll start making the change.  And the best part of all, if you actually engage your stomach muscles on a regular basis you’ll tone them.  Mind you, it won’t replace such things as crunches or other targeted exercises, but it will add to your tone.  Also, standing up straight makes you feel better about yourself.  So give it a try, you might be surprised at who you find looking back at you next time you look in the mirror.

I am reading “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle. I went to the library the other day questing for other books. At least one of which was in a similar vein, but “The Power of Now” was not on my list. The other books I brought home weren’t on my list either. The books I brought home include Deepak Chopra’s “The way of the Wizard” and Don Miguel Ruiz’s “Companion to the Four Agreements” and “The Mastery of Love”. I am reading all of them. (and if you got an image of me with four books spread open before me and me jumping between them, you aren’t as far off as that image might suggest).

Knowing that all paths are one path and that though there are many entry points, the paths all lead to the same place is one thing. Actually living it, embodying it in your life is a whole separate challenge. I’ve been dancing around this challenge for a while. I’ve approached it through many books. Much reading and searching. Both externally and internally.  It’s funny, the answer can only be found within me, but if you understand the universe to be a manifestation of yourself (your greater self, you as the creative source that we all are) then you can find that answer “outside”.  I think that this is one of those fun zen koans which wraps your brain in a complicated little knot and then says “see, it’s simple”.  And it is.

I’ve recently been dabbling with the notion of eating raw. I’ve been a vegetarian since I was eight, if you’re curious, that’s 21 years. Although, I did eventually add fish (mostly sushi) back into my diet in my early twenties. My diet changes, when I’ve made them have been rather carefully considered and I don’t regret any of the choices I’ve made (probably why I’ve stuck with them for so long). Anyway, I’ve been poking around with how to eat more healthy - yes you can eat complete junk and still be a vegetarian.

So, a couple of months ago I discovered that a friend of mine was eating raw. I had heard of eating raw before but I’d never seriously considered it. But for some reason, this time it caught my attention. I started to ponder it and shortly thereafter, I learned that Steve Pavlina was going to give eating raw a thirty day trial (follow his adventures on his blog). He’s tried raw before, but always returned to eating cooked vegan food after his trial was over (or on the first occasion after about four days). Of course, I’m not planning on going vegan. You see, sushi is raw :).

I’m also pretty certain that I don’t want to go entirely raw. I love many things that are cooked and I don’t think I want to permanently give them up. However, that leaves me with something of a dilemma… what rules should I make for myself around diet? And under what circumstances will it be okay for me to bend them? The good news is that I’ve also been recently pursuing a more spiritual course in my life. I have a strong desire to get in touch with my spiritual side.  I have found that my spiritual side is most tuned towards pagan nature based religious experiences.  So I have been researching the turning of the wheel of the seasons.  And I think I have an answer…  feast on the Sabbats.  The eight spokes of the natural progression of the wheel.  That way my eating of cooked food will be imbued with a deeper meaning.

Of course, I have to complete my transition to eating raw before that will be.  I am at this point in time, eating mostly raw.  But not entirely.   Still,  I’ve made significant changes in my diet recently and while I haven’t been tracking my data the way Steve has been, I’m feeling pretty good so far with the changes I have made.

Otherwise known as first post. I’m messing around here setting up a brand new theme. Of course, I’m probably going to discover bugs in it later. You know, when I get my blog a little more filled out. But, at least it will look pretty darn good before too long. I still have to figure out a few things. That’s how these things go. Soon I’ll be posting fun things like more poetry and talking about my take on things like sex and relationships. It’ll be fun, but for now, I’m doing the whole editing the theme thing….